the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
