it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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