Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
