thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
