Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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