I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
