Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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