Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
