I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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