That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
