Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
someone owes me an orgasm
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
