Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize