U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
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You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
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Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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