I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
