Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
