bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
