so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
love makes seman taste better
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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