people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
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