wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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