I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
