Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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