Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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