Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
