Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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