People with herpes should wear stickers.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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