I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
