Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
