I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
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Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
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Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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