I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
