I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
