hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
