wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
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I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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