Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm lost and stupid without you.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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