hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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