Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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