i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i can't believe i had my finger in that
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize