One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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