you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
