$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
