her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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