no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
from now on my penis is your penis
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize