tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday