I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.