Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(662): View more from Mississippi

Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?

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(662): Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call? http://tfl.nu/dgsg

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(317): View more from Indiana

His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me

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(317): His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me http://tfl.nu/9tmv

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(650): View more from California

Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question

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(650): Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question http://tfl.nu/hu7s

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.

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(724): You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room. http://tfl.nu/1sdd

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(773): View more from Illinois

Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.

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(773): Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight. http://tfl.nu/f50l

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(269): View more from Michigan

Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.

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(269): Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it. http://tfl.nu/0nwk

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(312): View more from Illinois

I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.

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(312): I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish. http://tfl.nu/bqr4

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.

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(413): Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun. http://tfl.nu/n06t

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(678): View more from Georgia

Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!

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(678): Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?! http://tfl.nu/sa9o

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(314): View more from Missouri

I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning

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(314): I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning http://tfl.nu/jesw

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises

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(306): You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises http://tfl.nu/ccm4

Replies (4) Good night (1533) Bad night (852)
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(540): View more from Virginia

For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.

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(540): For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners. http://tfl.nu/0hks

Replies (4) Good night (1573) Bad night (514)
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(802): View more from Vermont

I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories

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(802): I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories http://tfl.nu/5xj5

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4

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(218): Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4 http://tfl.nu/3h2w

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(815): View more from Illinois

Your topless pictures make me question reality

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(815): Your topless pictures make me question reality http://tfl.nu/0lfq

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