he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
