I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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