I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
