i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
