a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
