Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
