We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
