dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
