White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
tequila makes me forget i have legs
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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