Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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