I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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