dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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