Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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