the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine