why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
