Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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