Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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