Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We talked him into tasing himself.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
How drunk are you?
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