Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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