oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it