I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms