I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.