Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.