I am spending my child support on dildos
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room