we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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