Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
