how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
